


A Sickness of the Soul

by itsreallylizzy



Category: Phantom Thread (2017), The Godfather (1972 1974 1990)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe- Phantom Thread, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-04-30 22:30:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14506875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsreallylizzy/pseuds/itsreallylizzy
Summary: He hated seeing Kay like that, sick and helpless, but he took comfort in the fact that he would be there to care for her, that he would be the one to nurse her back to health.





	A Sickness of the Soul

Michael knows something’s wrong from the moment he sees Kay walk into the room. He sees it in her posture, in the determined look in her eyes, like she had to psych herself up for this. He knew something was wrong but he didn’t expect this.

_“I didn't want your son, Michael! I wouldn't bring another one of you sons into this world! It was an abortion, Michael! It was a son Michael!”_

Her words sting. He didn’t know how it all could have gone so wrong, how it was that the woman he loved came to hate him so much. The more she talked, the angrier he got. His rage building until he couldn’t take it anymore and he slapped her.

He regretted it instantly but there’s not much he could do so he stayed angry. If their marriage was dead, then he had put the final nail in the coffin. Even if he could have convinced her to take him back, she would never agree after this.

After she left he sunk into the couch. He could forgive her, he could. He could look past the abortion, after all no one had to know. No one did know, If he could just figure out a way for them to just, stay together then he could fix everything. If he loved her, she could fall in love with him again.

He could fulfill his promises to her, he could live without guilt. That’s what their marriage represented to him. A guilt free life and peace.

Sitting on his couch Michael tries to think of any way he can convince Kay to stay with him, for him to care for her, for them to raise their children together. He’s desperate, willing to try anything.

So he calls Tom and asks him to find Kay and invite her to dinner. He’ll cook, of course. And if all went according to plan, she’d forget all about the divorce.

“Did she say yes Tom?” Michael asked.

“I had to beg a bit but she’ll be there. She just wants this over with Michael,” Tom replied.

“Well Tom, I hope I’ll be able to change her mind,” Michael said.

“Good luck Michael,” Tom said.

Michael hung up and headed downstairs to catch a taxi. He wanted to get home to prepare for Kay’s visit. Everything had to be perfect if he wanted it to work.

Michael had spent the better part of his day cooking and preparing the house for Kay. He sat at the dinner table, drinking some wine and staring at the clock, waiting for it to turn 8:30.

At 8:30 there was a knock at the door and he scrambled to open the door.

“Hey Kay how are you?” Michael asked, smiling.

“I’m fine Michael. I just want to get this over with,” Kay said, coldly and detached. “I don’t  even know why I’m here.”

“It’s ok, we’re just gonna talk. Have some dinner,” Michael said, guiding Kay to the dinner table. “Have a seat.”

Kay sighed and sat down. Michael poured Kay some wine and moved to serve her.

“I made dinner,” Michael yelled from the kitchen.

“I hope it’s edible,” Kay mumbled.

Michael laughed, emerging from the kitchen with two plates of food. “It’s edible I promise. I had Ma help me make it.”

“Well at least someone I trust had a hand in making this,” Kay smiled.

Michael laughed and drank some more wine.

Kay picked at her food before trying it tentatively. It was better than she thought it would be.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Kay asked.

“I love looking at you Kay, is that so strange?” He really did love looking at her.

“It’s strange when you haven’t even touched your food.” Kay said.

Michael shrugged. “I’m enjoying my food just fine.”

Kay scoffed. She knew why she was here. It was Michael's last attempt to stop their divorce. She was surprised he even wanted to see her again after what she told him. Maybe he was a good man, or maybe (most likely) he wanted to save face so the family wouldn’t seem fractured. Either way it wouldn’t work. She wanted to leave and there was nothing he could do to change her mind.

Michael wasn't angry anymore but he hadn't quite forgiven her either. He felt that he would be able to forgive her in time. Which wouldn't happen unless she stayed with him.

Despite her shortcomings (despite his shortcomings) he needed Kay in his life. He needed her to remind him to be a better man, to take away his guilt, to redeem him.

His brother's death had put his life in perspective and he was tired. But he didn't know anything else, any other life but the life of a Don. But he knew that after this was over, if Kay stayed, he would fulfill his promise to her. Or else his guilt would haunt him forever.

The dinner was nice, they spent the time talking, remembering, enjoying themselves as if nothing had happened. But something had happened and Michael was reminded of it every time Kay talked with a cool edge to her voice.

“I should get going Michael,” Kay said. “It’s getting late.”

Michael looked at the clock. 12:30. It was late.

“You’re right. It’s late,” Michael agreed. “But I think you should stay the night.”

Kay laughed in disbelief. “What for old time’s sake?”

“Partly,” Michael admitted. “But also because it’s late. Look at the clock Kay it’s almost one, who knows what could happen to you this late. You should stay.”

Maybe it was the softness in his eyes that warmed the coldness in hers, but she heard herself agree to stay the night.

“Separate rooms Michael,” she warned.

“Separate rooms.” He mumbled in agreement.

He walked her to the room she would be staying in (the one right next his) even though she already knew where it was. She would have found it sweet if he didn't already know what he was.

“Have a good night Kay.” Michael smiled

“You too Michael,” Kay said.

He watched her go into her room and he headed back to the kitchen. He got rid of the leftovers and washed the dishes, alone with his thoughts.

A half hour later he lay in bed, unable to sleep. He stared at the wall, thinking about his life. He wondered if his father would be proud of him, he wondered who he would be if his brother hadn't died. As a rule he tried not to give much thought to the what-ifs of life, but at night he let himself break the rule, falling asleep to thoughts of a different life.

 -------

By the time Kay woke up Michael was already dressed and at the table eating breakfast. She felt strange, her head hurt and she was sweating. The smell of the food made her nauseous.

Michael smiled at her but he quickly grew concerned about her. “Kay are you all right? You look terrible.”

“What’s that supposed to mean Michael,” Kay mumbled.

“You look sick Kay, that’s what I meant,” Michael said, concern in his voice.

Kay waved him away. “I feel fine Michael.”

She stumbled toward Michael. “I just wanted to say goodbye Michael.”

Michael felt Kay’s forehead. “You’re burning up Kay.”

She brushed his hand off her head. “No, I said I’m-” She stopped mid sentence. “I’m gonna be sick.” She gave Michael a faint smile and walked in the direction of the bathroom with a surprising amount of calm for a sick woman.

Michael glanced at Tom and walked after Kay. He knocked on the bathroom door, anxious and worried about her. “Kay are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” She whispered and opened the door a crack. “I’ll be fine Michael, I’m just gonna stay here for awhile.”  She closed the door again and Michael sighed.

“Did you call the doctor Tom?” Michael was concerned and the more time Kay spent in the bathroom his concern increased.

“I did. I called him when you asked me too.” Tom explained calmly. The more time passed, the more stressed Michael got and it was Tom’s responsibility to stay calm.

Michael slammed his fist on the table. “Damn it Tom, then why isn’t he here yet?”

Tom sighed. His voice was even tempered and calm, meant to relax Michael, bring him back to a more relaxed state. “I’m sure the doctor will be here soon. I mean he’s a doctor Michael, there had to be at least one other life he had to save before he heads here.”

Michael glares at Tom. “Fine. Let’s say that he had someone else to save, someone that’s somehow more important. I give him a half hour and if he doesn’t show we’re calling a different doctor.”

Tom relaxed at seeing Michael relax a bit.

“And we’re giving him a time limit.”

Tom laughed a bit. “Fine. Whatever you say.”

Michael had no reason to worry, the doctor arrived soon after the conversation ended. The doctor looked nervous. Michael shook the doctor’s hand, not wanting to waste any time he lead the doctor to the bathroom Kay occupied. The doctor gently pushed the door open, only to see Kay sitting on the bathroom floor looked dazed.

“Pick her up, carry her to a bedroom, I’ll get a closer look at her there,” the doctor demanded.

Michael lifted Kay up into his arms, she was so light and small. He never wanted to put her down. But he did, he settled her into the bed, making sure she was comfortable, and stepped back to allow the doctor to examine her.

“Well, she has a fever, clearly.” The doctor stumbled over his words, his eyes darting nervously around the room. “Maybe it was something she ate, she’ll get better, just, just uh, take care of her fever, and she’ll be ok in a couple of days.”

Michael waved the doctor away. He hated seeing Kay like that, sick and helpless, but he took comfort in the fact that he would be there to care for her, that he would be the one to nurse her back to health.

She looked so peaceful sleeping, her eyes clothes and facial features relaxed. She was always always moving, always doing something, it was a rare sight to see her so calm.

He stayed there next to her as she slept with Tom coming in occasionally to discuss some minor decision making.

“Michael,” Kay whispered, eyes half lidded, voice heavy with sleep. “Michael?”

“Shhh, I’m here,” Michael said. “I’m here Kay.”

Her thoughts were muddled throughout the whole ordeal but there since their marriage Kay had not seen such love in Michael’s eyes directed at her.

Michael’s attention and care for Kay paid off. The next day her fever had gone down and she could keep food down.

“Are you feeling better Kay?” Michael asked.

Kay nodded. “That’s the last time I eat at a random restaurant.”

Michael smiled. “I had Tom talk to a lawyer who says that we can get a divorce-”

“Michael I think we should reconsider getting divorced, at least for a while.” Kay interrupted him but Michael didn’t care.

“Kay”

“Yes, Michael?” Kay faced Michael and looked into his dark, hopeful eyes.

“Kiss me.”

At some points during Kay’s illness Michael had felt guilty, he had regretted his choice, thinking if it didn’t work he had harmed the woman he loved for nothing. His plan had worked, and his life, his marriage, was safe. For now.

**Author's Note:**

> it might be a little off like you might be sitting there and thinking why this would never happen well it's an au and i tried. if u got any feedback or you liked it please comment it's much appreciated


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